Dreams, Ashes of Time

Yesterday it was a very stressful day. After work, I went to a bustling district, Myeongdong, kept walking, and then watched a movie at 09:40PM. My choice was “Chungking Express (重慶森林),” the 1994 film written and directed by Wong Kar-Wai (王家衛). It is about two love-struck cops in Hong Kong before its return to China. I started to go to movie alone when I get stressed. It has been one of my new hobbies. I realized that recently I have watched so many movies than before.. sigh.

I saw the movie when I was a college student with friends almost 15 years ago. I wanted to see it again. Upcoming business trip to Hong Kong is one of reasons that I made the impulsive decision, however, unexpectedly the film made me look back on my 20’s and look at myself in my 30’s, rather than look forward to the business trip there.

In my early 20’s, I could not perceive changes in other people’s subtle emotions because I was not that considerate of people's feelings. That is, I did not know anything about people, and life. Yesterday I could see the subtle changes of characters’ emotions in this colorful movie. Now I seemed to start to see that the relationship between a man and a woman, let’s say ‘love, the most exquisite art!' Alas, I have been that dull by now.

Any organic product has the expiration date, even relationships between people do have. Can the life of relationships be prolonged by 100, or 1,000, or 10,000 years? There is someone who likes apple, but he can became a person who dislikes apple. Who can blame him for that? Then, what means that we long for? Can we trust in us, our desires? Probably truth seems that people are repeatedly do loving and hating, hurting and being wounded, forgetting and recalling, mistaking and regretting, ignoring and respecting, and finishing and restarting.

On the one hand, I was reminded of my younger days, and one of my close friends, Haewon who watched the movie with me. She passed away on bone tumors in her beautiful late 20’s. Suddenly I felt downhearted. The friend resembled Faye Wong, a leading actress in Chungking Express, her character as well as her body shape. I recalled the dead friend’s boyfriend. And I was wondering whether he knows that she, that he once loved, does not exist on earth.

Life is full of unexpected happenings and accidents. I see that a few things I dreamed and planned in my 20’s came true. It seemed terrible, but it would not be tragedies, but blessings. It could be one of reasons for me to give thanks to God. He has changed my foolish desires and plans and keep showing something noble and unimaginable beyond my intelligence and experiences.

This month, I will go on a business trip to Hong Kong. 4 years has elapsed since I visited the city for the first time. What would I feel and see this time? A dreamy song in the movie and the glimmering of Hong Kong are haunting me. I like Wong Kar-Wai's movies, just reserved his another movie, “Ashes of Time (東邪西毒)” ticket online. Today can be my last day to live or love, who knows? The unknown, the mysterious tension in life is not that bad at all. I am trying not to postpone something important and something I like to do. It would be one of sojourners’ must-have mental attitudes. Enjoy this moment, and give thanks!

L'Art de La Simplicite

One more household item has been added to my property list. Yesterday a Cuckoo pressure rice cooker was delivered. It costs 214,200 Korean won, except a MacBook Air, an iPad, and a Leica camera, it is the most expensive good at my house. Believe it or not, although I enjoy cooking and eating very much, I had lived without a rice cooker since I returned to Korea! The small cooker I used in the States is the 110 volt system, so I could not use here. For nearly three years, I was debating whether I should buy a new one or not.

Recently I was hospitalized so sudden, finally I concluded with buying a new rice cooker for my physical health. Yesterday evening, I cooked rice with mixed grains at the expensive cooker like as if I carried out a kind of an important ritual. Gladly it worked well. I was satisfied with the tasty rice.

I long to live freely, so I have a kind of an obsession that I should live in a simple way, not have too many goods. In 2010, my oldest sister and her daughter gave their assets to poor me, who just came back with nothing from the States. My current single bed is what my first niece used, and my white fabric couch is what my brother-in-law used before his marriage. I only purchased a desk from my company, Hanssem, and lighting and chairs from Hanssem's competitor, IKEA. 

A few days ago, when I found a book entitled 'L'Art de La Simplicite' written by Dominique Loreau, and was very impressed by her insights. She nicely mentions what I have thought but I cannot explain well. It is about the life of simplicity, that is the concept of possession: clothes, space, etc. 

It is not easy for me not to buy a lot of household items since I am a kind of an aesthetic person! In the industrial societies, I feel like people are always forced to buy and possess things, but if people fill their lives with unnecessary stuff, they might sink because of the weight of the garbage. Well, our only one earth is already confronting the challenge. Also I keep thinking that I would happen to live in a few other places in my entire life. So I have wanted to be ready to leave for anywhere at any time.

A difficult assignment remains. I am a well-known professional amateur librarian. I do like purchasing books. Here is a problem. Since Amazon started to provide e-book service, I have been glad to have books easily in Korea though, I started to debate whether I should have paper books or digital books. When I think about moving without a strong spouse, digital books would be the best choice for me. I can appreciate the convenience of carrying a lot of digital books, however, I like rather turning over the leaves of a book than touching the screen of iPad or Kindle. I feel like I am an oldie. I might need to adopt a new method in digital information societies that helps people to possess less and share more.

Italy Refreshed Me

During this year's long Chusok holiday, finally I could have some restful times in Assisi, Italy. Last year, I had no chance to go on vacation because of work, so I had waited for this trip. In the beginning of the trip, I didn't know why I got lost several times from Rome. I was quite distracted by many complicated thoughts and unhappy feelings. However, in the middle of my journey, I could find my peace of mind through meeting a gracious lady at a bus stop in Assisi. After then, small changes occurred to me.

At the bus stop, I waited for a bus, but the bus did not turn up, so I and someone started to chat. It turned out that she is a spiritual coach who leads a special retreat for pastors, priests, and seminary students every year in Assisi. Her name is Dr. Benefiel, Margaret. At the morning, she was waiting for a bus to leave for Rome, and eventually for Boston! After she got to know that once I lived in Boston, we both were very excited to talk about a lot of things including city of Boston, politics inside churches, Christian conferences: Urbana and InterVarsity, etc. At our parting, she kindly gave me her book 'The Soul of a Leader' and said to me to pray for me. The book with author's signature and the short but intensive conversation with her encouraged me a lot. I was grateful to God for giving the unexpected encounter to me, such an inattentive one.

I could have other interesting meetings during the journey. Except one person, all asked me about North Korea after they learned that I came from South Korea. I might be stood out in the crowd since there were few Asians in Assisi. I thought that the experience was abnormal. I have not known that before, more Europeans that I expected seem interested in how North Korea will turn out. They threw so difficult questions at me, "How is North Korea doing?" or "What do you think about North Korea's future?" like that! One of them is a young Rumanian, he talked about his dead father in the communist regime, who liked communism, and his mother, who prefers capitalism in a capitalist country, Italy. I had never expected these kinds of conversations during my vacation in a secluded village in the mountains, Assisi.

A night classic concert at Basilica di San Francesco, and every some time gentle ring of various churches bells, and a Friday evening wedding ceremony, and genuine Italian cannoli and cappuccino and Umbrian pizza and pasta.. everything were novel pleasures I cannot forget. Plus, while wandering several days, I got to know every inch of the city. I fell in love with this small town. Also, I could recall I have a lot to do for repaying grace given to me through my entire life journey. Especially Dr. Benefiel's book and the unexpected casual meetings stimulated some of my passions. It is a kind of creating a dynamic platform for people interested in NK, and professionals from each field who want to be connected with others for developing NK. I decided to give shape to the idea concretely in the near future. I seem to still have a long way to go! Here are some pictures of my Italy trip. Enjoy! https://goo.gl/photos/9YTfVdrfVFrVZxkcA

New Identity

I came to like this nomadic life although I am tired from bringing stuffs back and forth and making new friends while moving back and forth. During this transition, I am learning good things: how to pack up bags; how to settle down at a strange place quickly; how to make friends, and keep company with them. Over and over I am shifting. I know I am a quite introvert one, however, my character has gradually changed as I am in needs of others, I have to keep asking others for their helps. At once, my identity also has been changed. Here in the States, I feel aliened with someone with common sense of humor, similar moral standard, same religion, and similar education background and interests. I do not feel like close because he or she is just a Korean. I think how funny it is that Koreans often try to divide people between Kyungsangdo and Chunlado or between Gang-nam and Gang-book by Han river in Seoul. In such a small country, we split ourselves into many many groups. I started to look at people, my country, and the world in a kind of different way. I have been on an adventurous journey beyond changing my career path. There might be a reason God put me in this situation. Thanks!

L'aventure De La Vie

I came back to Ithaca. I just started to live here from the last August but already I feel comfortable in Ithaca like my hometown. I remember the last days of Korea. I think relatively I've been able to adapt myself to my surroundings although I was worried about new life in a new place where I had never been. Some day I might worry about another new professional life after leaving this school. But I know I have to move forward even though I don't want adventure since if I do not move anywhere, it implies that I'm not alive any more. Separating from familiar things, people, and ways means that I must surrender totally to Jesus who is the way, the truth, and the life as I don't know where I should go. Actually it is not bad when I used to following Him as I can have an exciting hope in every steps. "L'aventure de la vie!"

Gotham City

Cool! This view of New York reminds me of Batman. Where were you? :o

Beautiful Window

I pressed lots of shutters in Taize, France. This picture is one of my works. I was touched with the beauty of the scene. What a wonderful artistic touch!

Unforgettable Memory

A few days ago, suddenly one of my Ajuma friends (she is a really Ajuma because her two sons are older than me) emailed me. But it turned out she made a mistake. She intended to email Mr. Chun. Maybe she mixed up family names since my last name is Choi.

She said to Chun that she was in Paris while drawing some pictures, and listening Requiem de Mozart in the St. Germain des Pres. What a romantic moment! Yeah.. she is a pretty smart artist graduated from Seoul National University. Even one of her works is on campus although I don't know which sculpture is her work. Anyways, she is now interested in stained glass work and just finished the art work at a church at Burn-dong, Seoul.

I replied to her wrong email and talked about Taize where I stayed with my friend, Bomyi during the Easter week of 2006. Actually I thought of her often when I was in Taize. I don't know why though I guess that was for now. I have thought that she seemed to be in need of encountering God, however, I could not keep in touch with her. I hope that she can visit the lovely and impressive place to meet her Creator.

Toi, Tu nous aimes
Source de vie

God, You love us
Source of compassion

For your reference, Taize is in the south of Burgandy, France. Taize community is the home of an international, ecumenical community, founded there in 1940 by Brother Roger. The brothers are committed for their whole life to material and spiritual sharing, to celibacy, and to a great simplicity of life. Today, the community is made up of over a hundred brothers, Catholics and from various Protestant backgrounds, from more than twenty-five nations. At the heart of daily life in Taize are three times of prayer together. The brothers live by their own work. They do not accept gifts or donations for themselves. Some of the brothers are living in small groups ? “fraternities” - among the very poor. Since the late 1950s, many thousands of young adults from many countries have found their way to Taize to take part in weekly meetings of prayer and reflection. In addition, Taize brothers make visits and lead meetings, large and small, in Africa, North and South America, Asia, and in Europe, as part of a “pilgrimage of trust on earth”.